"Beer is proof God loves us" Part 1

Drugs evolved, from God. First God was bored of water because it was too plain and boring, so he made ingredients that eventually became soda pop. Now he was happy, a little more energetic and willing to do more. Then he created coffee to wake him up every morning. Now he could really keep going but this too he got bored with. "I need something that will alter my thinking and allow me to be more open to others." So God created alcohol. He started with a small amount, a wine cooler then made beer. "Wow this is kind of shitty actually, I probably could have made this shit taste a lot better, but oh well too late now. Let's see what happens when I drink more..." So God drank more and found that it got better and his mind became more open.

But then God got sick and puked everywhere. "God damnit, well I messed that up, but I'm getting closer." So God decided that there should be something you can just swallow and get it over with, so he created pills. "I'll use the same idea I had with alcohol, I'll make 1 or 2 pills okay for you, but after increasing, there should be a sense of euphoria and happiness." God took the pills but ended up passing out way to soon and almost dying and being sent back to heaven to start this all over. So he thought maybe there is something we can plant.

So planting he did, he tried everything and eventually found some good ingredients. "I'll call it Mary wana, because Mary always wana get messed up" She did live a stressful life, she got pregnant and didn't know how, I mean, a lot of people can't live like that. Then her son ended up being Jesus Christ, the son of God, talk about a lot of expectations.

So anyways, God decided that female plants of Mary Wana were the best and he first ate these plants, he eventually got to the point where he created devices to smoke this plant. "Jesus Christ this is good!" He exclaimed. "Is it really, lemme try it" Jesus responded. So they smoked and smoked and were in a very good mood and couldn't stop laughing. "The people of Earth will love this!" As they got high, they continued to experiment and make new drugs and mix other drugs, they created drugs like heroin and ecstasy. They knew they had gone too far now. "This shit is too much man, what have we done??" So God was mad at himself and knew that people on Earth would abuse these drugs. He looked down on Earth and then looked back at Jesus with a smile and said, "Get me a beer."